Traveling Solo- For the Ladies

One of the things I see most often on travel forums or from friends and family is worry about being a woman traveling alone.  I've never let the fact that I'm a girl cause me any type of anxiety in reference to my travels, and I feel that most places are perfectly safe.  Unfortunately, I feel that fear is drilled into us from the time we're toddlers that we're the vulnerable sex and need protecting in certain situations.  I really don't think that any woman should be afraid to travel alone, but I'll share my experiences if they help to reassure anyone :)

As girls, and specifically if you dress up, there will always be unwanted attention.  This can happen in your home town too, not just on vacation.  The intensity varies from place to place, but it always occurs. I feel that it is what it is, and luckily no one has ever actually made me feel in danger.  When I get comments or creeps hanging around, I either pretend I don't speak English, completely do not acknowledge them or respond, or I get really, really nasty.  Don't mess with me. I may be blonde and like to wear skirts and make up, but if you push me too far I will give it right back and 10x worse.  I also always carry a small pocket knife (at home too) just in case anything ever gets too hairy, which it never has. I think it's wise to have either a small pocket knife or a small pepper spray etc just in case.  The pepper spray is probably the better thing to have, I know carrying a knife makes me sound crazy but it's also my grandpa's from the 50's, so I keep it for other reasons.  Again though, I have never had to physically defend myself in any way, anywhere.

Another important tip is to just be aware.  Don't do silly things or make silly decisions.  You don't need to hide in your hotel room as soon as the sun goes down, in fact I say get out and have fun!  Yes, I drink alone on vacation (although usually more with the friends I make) and I don't see anything wrong with this.  I'm on vacation to have fun!  What I don't do however is ever tell anyone that I'm completely alone or walk home late at night by myself.  I will always take a cab home, it is worth the extra charge.  As for the never revealing I'm alone, if anyone ever asks me, I say that either my boyfriend or my parents or my friends are back at the hotel sleeping and didn't want to come out.  Whether or not they believe me doesn't matter, they can't disprove it, and that might just be enough to scare a shifty character away.  Another thing I do for nightlife situations is always pick a local jump off bar.  Start at the same bar every night so that the staff can get familiar with you.  I usually start a conversation with the bartenders so that if anyone is ever hanging around too much and I have made it clear that I would like to be left alone, I stand by the bar and have someone to talk to.  I'm not saying depend on anyone to save you, or that your new bartender acquaintance will care terribly about you, but it helps to look like people are aware of you and will notice if you're in distress or something.  Believe it or not this has gotten me away from a few creeps over the years, usually because the bartenders will give them funny looks. 

You should always be somewhat aware of what areas to avoid in a city too, and this can easily be found by browsing travel forums. 

The other side for the single female traveler is a more lighthearted concern, which is usually "but how will it look?!"  Many ladies feel embarrassed about getting a drink alone, or eating a meal alone, or even just seeing a museum alone.  We can't all always be taken or with a friend! It's just not realistic. And I say, why should I miss out on a fabulous time just because no one else can go?  Please don't think that you look silly dining or drinking alone, there is nothing wrong with it, and I highly doubt anyone would even notice or stare at you or anything.  You get over these things rather quickly when you travel alone, and again, if you are a little nervous, make some friends!  You're never really "drinking alone" at a bar, there are always other people, and most places everyone is pretty friendly and open. Especially other travelers!  Step out of your comfort zone a bit, you might be surprised how much fun you have! 

* My opinions on dining or drinking alone are for places that I have been.  I have never been to a country where a woman alone is culturally unacceptable, like Saudi Arabia or something, so please keep in mind that if you are going someplace where women are not viewed the way they are in the USA or Europe, things may be different, and some places may be entirely unsafe for a woman traveling by herself, or any tourist (male or female) traveling alone.

"You're Going Alone?!" My Guide to Solo Travel

Whenever I mention that I'll be taking a solo vacation, I get met with the question above.  I've mentioned before that I'm a big fan of traveling by myself.  This is a scary concept to a lot of people, and it's understandable since everyone has a different comfort level and personality.  I've been traveling by myself for years, and while it was hard at first, I've actually come to prefer it. I know many people who have told me that they would never or could never travel alone, and either admire that I do, or worry about me.  I also know quite a few people who would like to give a solo trip a shot, but are hesitant due to their own concerns or those of others around them.  If you're considering taking a solo vacation, I'd like to share some of my experiences and tips that I hope will be helpful.

I'd like to first share how I got into traveling alone.  When I was 16, I moved to Palermo, Sicily for the summer to be with my boyfriend at the time.  We had met on an earlier vacation in April (2006) and had ended up having a long distance relationship.  Though once I got to Sicily I would be staying with him and his housemates, I had to fly out alone.  This was my first flight without a parent or friend, so this was my first dose of solo travel. I had only myself to rely on at the airport for changing planes and getting a taxi, etc.  The following year, my friend Steve and I went Nice, France, by ourselves.  I was still with a friend, but we got our own apartment and it was just the two of us.  At 17, this was fantastic! In 2009 I went to Rome, and would initially be going alone if it wasn't for my friend who was actually able to come last minute.  However, he wouldn't be able to stay the full 2 weeks, so the trip would be half and half.  He stayed for 5 days, and then I was completely alone for the other 9.  I don't recommend this setup since it is incredibly hard to have someone with you and them have them leave.  Have them come for the second part of a trip so that you are alone for the first half instead. Anyway, after all these training wheel trips, I was finally left alone in Rome, and so began my conversion to solo traveler.  The following summer is when I went to Paris for a month completely by myself, and I haven't looked back since! Sicily, Nice, and Rome trained me, and Paris put on the finishing touches.  If you can do this gradual progression, I think it helps a lot with attempting to travel alone. 

To start, here are some of the pros and cons of traveling alone:

Pros

- Your own agenda. You don't have to answer to anyone or compromise on anything that you want to see or do. It's what you want, when you want it, all the time. 

- You're more open to meeting new people since you're not with anyone else.  Solo travel to me never means that I'm completely alone, but more that I'm not bringing anyone with me.  I always make new friends when I travel. 

- You can get more immersed into a place.  When you don't have anyone familiar with you, it's just you and your destination, no middle man

Cons

- Solo travel can be lonely.  This is unavoidable, there will definitely be times that you wish you had someone with you

- The cost is all on you, no one to split anything with, like hotel bills

Personally, I love the freedom of traveling by myself.  This is the biggest selling point for me, since I can do whatever I want.  I am not a morning person, I don't want to have to get up at 7am on vacation for anyone. I'm good with waking up whenever I wake up and then seeing sights or going out etc.  I also like to be able to see what I want to see in a place.  Sometimes that even means a day of no sights at all where instead I wander around and do some shopping.  I don't have to do everything in a place.  I was in Paris for a month and never got out to Versailles because I was too busy just enjoying the city.  To some people, that would be blasphemy!  Since I was alone however, my schedule was entirely up to my desires that day. 

Planning a solo trip is also much easier than planning a trip with another person.  When I say I want to go somewhere, I'm serious, and will probably be making bookings soon, I'm not asking rhetorically.  A lot of times, if I ask my friends if they would like to come, I get wishy washy answers like, "maybe" "I'll see" or the one I hate the most, "yeah I'd go", but then they never actually get their act together.  If I do find a friend to accompany me, there is always the issue of where to stay and budget differences.  I do a lot of research before I travel and pick an area to stay in that I feel is best suited for me.  I also am aware of what the area in question will cost.  I'm the type of person who would rather pay a little more for a central location than save some money and be farther away from everything.  My travel companions don't always agree with this, and occasionally, can be very disillusioned about the realistic costs of a city.  For example, to me, $300 for 3 days in a Marais apartment in Paris is a fantastic price.  If you're thinking you'll get a central location like that for less, you're going to be seriously disappointed.  You won't get the central address if you're adamant about not spending more than 100$ for the weekend.  Everyone has a different budget, but I personally get annoyed if I am with someone who is, in my opinion, too conservative with their funds to the point where it hinders the experience of a trip.  Vacation to me is a time to splurge a little if you can, and it's hard if your partner feels differently.  It's also difficult to find someone that you can agreeably travel with.  We all have those friends that we love dearly, but could never be alone together with for more than a day.  You really don't want to be stuck on a long vacation with someone who gets on your nerves too much.

As I mentioned, I always meet new people when I travel solo.  This is my favorite aspect of it. I go alone, but I never stay alone, I have always made friends, many of whom I am still in contact with today.   It's easy to be more introverted when you are traveling with a companion, because you can be.  When you're alone, if you want socialization, you'll have to go find it for yourself.  I'm a very shy person, so I like that this makes me get out of my comfort zone and grow as a person.  Traveling alone can be lonely, there is no denying that fact, but if you make friends I guarantee you will beat the loneliness!  You then have the option of doing activities with your new acquaintances or continuing to do things on your own.  I usually might go to a museum or two with my new friends, but mostly we meet up at night, after our days alone, to go check out some nightlife. 

Traveling solo is a fantastic experience, and I highly encourage everyone to give it a try if they feel like they would enjoy it!  It's daunting at first, but eventually it becomes second nature.